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some junk food junkie or other
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| get some guts |
[May. 10th, 2008|12:09 am] |
If you love me, don't make me up. Don't try and delude yourself that I'm something i'm not. If you can't love me for who i am then you can't love me. Simple as. Don't make me all warm and secure and strip my crazy emotions naked and then point and laugh at them. I don't trust easy, but when i do i give in too easy. And it leaves me feeling bad. So please, take me as i am cuz if you make me, you break me. |
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| buttworm |
[May. 7th, 2008|03:52 pm] |
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sign my yearbook? |
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| holy bank holiday batman! |
[May. 4th, 2008|07:34 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Little Bunny Foo Foo | ] |

Ann's 18th last night was veddy fun, by the way. I especially wanna thank Handog and Shane for the entertainment. Handog said I had the nicest style of any girl he'd ever met. And Ruari Hannigan KNOWS style.

This is the first time ever that I've actually enjoyed a bank holiday. I got to do trollies at asda cuz there was too many of us on duty. They were all surprised. "A girl? Do a boy's job? Bloody Extraordinary!" HA! I was great at it, even though Chris said i wasn't just on account of he wanted to do it. Bitter bastard.
Anyways, I got out of work all sweaty and happy and walked through ze glorious sunshine and encountered like a thousand people, including Leza Sharkey, along the way. Then ran with a war yell at a group of people who turned out to be Don, Suzy, Kevie and their friend with the nice boots. We started to head off the Lavelle's before i realized i could get a free ride home and took off. I love you, Kevie!
And happy birthday to Dee Molish. Babe. |
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| think i'll go eat worms. |
[May. 2nd, 2008|11:44 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | NYC's Like a Graveyard | ] | I'm thinking of taking a job at the Northbrook factory. Just answering phones and hanging with Polish people and shit. I want out of Asda, stat.
I don't care about the moneys. I just want away from the ho's. |
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| did you see the stylish kids in the riot? |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|06:50 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | aggravated | ] | The modeling job was fucked. They all seemed keen on me til I was sent in with some gorgeous lady who towered over me and we stood with numbers held up like a mugshot and then I was sent off. 'Salright, it was fun. So I sloped about Belfast on my own til I bumped into Emmet, who showed me his tattoos and then we went back to Oona and Emmet's and drank tea and watched the Simple Life.
And stupid crazy drunk lady doesn't scare or amuse me.
Gareth sat in Meyler's to play music while I was gone and it seeped in through the door and cheered Irene up.
Not to self: kill evil nazi boss Cheryl. Failing that, get new job. |
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| whatchoo' talkin bout? |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|06:45 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Le Tigre 'Let's Run' | ] | I said M&Ms come from heaven And smarties come from hell They said, You completely crazy? I said don't know, when can you tell?
And sometimes now I think i have to Look and not just see I embrace the freak I am But i miss the freak i used to be. |
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| look what she did to herself |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|01:09 am] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | 'What Do I Get?' The Buzzcocks | ] | Ta-da!


Gareth came to pick me up today wearing two odd shoes, a boot and a converse chuck. I love that guy. We ate salsa til we were sick. I told him how Ms Carlin is giving me a sticker for behaving myself for a whole year. He called Bridget last night while he was drunk and i got a worried phonecall today while i was at the shops, which turned into a pleasant chat. Last week Kevie and some friends were standing outside asda when gareth met me outside work and i didnt know who they were and kevie kept yelling to come over but didnt know it was him so i gave him the fingers and he started yelling 'fucking BITCH' and gareth went mad and punched a lamppost. It was rilly rilly funny.
I checked under till 17 for me and Shauna's moth but he's gone.
And I'd just like to say that the only difference between me and the most of the rest of the world is that I don't deny I'm an asshole. |
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| lolz!!!!1 |
[Apr. 24th, 2008|08:33 pm] |
I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS JOURNAL FRIENDS ONLY.
Just kidding.
I'm not that egotistical just yet. |
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| I am grounded, i am humble, i am one with everything |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|08:31 pm] |
HAHAHAHAha yeah right.
Lookit:

I am just that swish. |
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| fuck i love sex |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|08:22 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Antsy Pants 'Amazing Kids Doing Amazing Shit' | ] | I got undercover last night, damn it's been too long. And again this morning, no kidding, I love warm skin pressed against mine. I also went to church, there was this weedy character training to be a priest. He's already crafted the solemn laughter in his voice. Then i went back to Gareth's, afterwards we walked around town, sipped giant cokes, went to some stupid music workshop shit (the bands were crap, except this one rockabilly girl one, and nobody moshed, but at least this time no-one threw anything at me and we didn't stage-dive-cum-knee-skid and graze our knees), we checked out the cinema - fuck all on - and we got some MORE salsa and ate it underneath the tinneys, then went back to his gaff.
The world makes me feel small, and that's the way I like it. Small boys who call us freaks make me feel big. Their big scary Alsation with demonic eyeballs makes me feel small again.
And I would quite like to fuck Mos Def.
The end. |
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| koniciwah bitches |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|09:07 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | pissed off | ] | Some fuckwit sneered at me today in derry: "I can see your bra." So i gave her a full show.
My mum's enraged. "Just piss off. I don't fucking want your fucking sandwich. You get me anything and I'll throw it at you." Next time marry someone who can look after themselves.
Get well soon, Romano. Please don't die on me, baby. |
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| to kimya with love |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|05:14 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Who's Got the Crack? | ] | Crawdaddy? May 16?
I'll be there! |
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| blablablahumdedumdumhumdrrrumlifeblabla |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|05:08 pm] |
Did you know
that i loves this woman?


Well, now you do. |
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| it ain't no secret |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|08:35 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Anyone Else But You | ] | IT'S SNOWWWWWWWiiNNNNNG!
I'm still feeling my good-bad mix. I'm still getting a hard time from people who ain't fit to lick shit off my boots, ginger's got lukaemia and one of my most amazing friends is having a really hard time, if you know what i mean. The weird church collector kids who bag-pack at work with the green make-up have constructed a shack made out of rusty corrugated metal out the front of the store. Damien looks nervous every time he walks past them.
According to the "bandana code", i like heavy SM top. |
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| kick the bottle |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|05:51 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | fuck off anna, you shithead | ] | I got my tenancy agreement. One step closer to LATER.
I hate idle drugs. I hate that gareth was stupid enough to take them off handog and when we ran out of danny's and sat on the sidewalk in the sold and the dark and spat into the street ... it didn't feel like a crazy high. It felt like a stupid sick low. I hate hard drugs, and I think there's enough people dependant on them that people who aren't needn't take them. It's stupid and moronic and I told him so, i felt ashamed. If one of us had gotten really sick or died, people would just say, another stoned teenager. Well don't let the winds change while you're making a silly face. Don't sniff that chem bottle.
Babe, I've had my food in your freezer for ever. Hide those bottles and bruises from your mother. |
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| put your hands there |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|01:46 pm] |
I know love is real, i feel it and i make it. I ain't scared anymore.
First sunday off work ever. Get well soon, Chris. xox |
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| having fun yet? |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|10:29 am] |
Look, my therapy strip!


I hope you sore back gets better. If it doesn't I can always come round and make you more Iron Bru ice cream sodas, but later I'm gonna go watch Catacombs with Jet.
But I love you, you hot bastard, and i am so moving with you. |
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| Damn my hide. |
[Mar. 17th, 2008|12:25 pm] |
Chris really mauled his girlfriend last ngiht. He said to me earlier, "you're one to talk. Your boots were in the air and everything!" But we danced like craaaaazy and afterwards we went to Paolo's where I got in a scary drunk temper and punched the door which really hurt my fist and made the bouncers yell at me. I felt bad for making Gareth upset and scaring Daryl off. I said i was sorry and I went home where i sat in bed eating pizza with Anna and feeling contented for the first time all week.
Gar keeps assuring me it's all perfect, but he doesn't get it. Neither do I, fo shizzle. wish I could predict my life and my actions better. I'm just waiting for something bad to happen and I need to launch a pre-emptive strike. He doesn't fully understand how I feel, which I guess makes sense if I don't either, but cuz of this I feel lonely - I fall more in love, I get more outa my depth and I get the senstaion of being cold and warm.
But it all still seems kind of lovely and fun. But this is a stupid fantasy. Sometimes it seems fucking scary, like we'll be getting married next or something. Why do I have to hate commitment so much? But when I think of calling it off, I think of how much I'll hurt him and I almost wanna cry. I know he'd let me go if he thought i wanted or needed to, and that makes me feel worse. See my dilemma? I'm a mass of contradicitons, double standards and paradoxes. Can't live with him, can't live without him, as the saying goes.
I've been living on red hots and drinking shandy. Fook.
DOOM. Love. Rat Scabies. -xox |
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| tonight i am craziness bound |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|01:03 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | nauseated | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Billy Joel 'This Is the Time' | ] | Remember the old tire swings you used to make, when you were like thirteen? When we rode skateboards backwards downhill on our arse and played on building sites and fell down and sucked lollipops and drank beer and spat it out and grazed your knees and read magazines and pranked your neighbours and got into fights and played hide and seek and thought you could play guitar and ran everywhere and had no money and chewed gum and ate ice cream jumped off high swings and had secrets and loved everyone and listened to the radio and danced and called each other on the phone and didn't care about school but you were better at it and you were scared of nothing and everything?
Why is it, the closer I get, the more lonely I feel? I feel like a stupid hypocrite bitch.
I miss my guinea pigs. |
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| I'm made out of glue ... I know you are, but what am I??? |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|12:02 am] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Kimya Dawson 'Tire Swing' | ] |

Today I went with Chris, Danny, Gareth and some Aisling chick to Let's Talk in Belfast. Sat on the floor, drank coffee with old folks and submitted inappropriate questions. We got to be on tv, only we didn't actually say anything, except Chris and Danny, and there was a shot of my chest, which was good since I was wearing one of my own Desolation Rose t-shirts and I got to show it off. Aisling wanted to riot against the BBC for denying her question time in favour of a question about football. Politicians are so silly, I'm glad I don't give a crap. Gar and me were just there for the Crown pub.
He asked me what was wrong as we were driving there, and I admitted I was starting to quiver just a little about both of us moving to Liverpool next year. He got upset about that, and ensured me like five gazillion times that there was no need to doubt it. I can't help it. I've never trusted blokes. I said yeah well, what if you get sick of me? I can be pretty fed upable. He said that's never gonna happen. When we got outa the studio he took me aside again and said everything was fine, and how he loves me. I said i loved him back, but I'm going to feel such an asshole if he winds up stuck in a weird city without me. I can't handle getting that serious, I find it pretty scary to be honest. I feel like a pot noodle that hasn't been stirred, all mushy and gooey on the outside but still hard and brittle inside. Gahhhhhhhh, I don't like it. Fuckity fuck. |
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| crap, mind games. |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|11:59 am] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Spiderbait 'Calypso' | ] | I think our minds work like the world. The world was such a naive place before the mechanized wars came along and blasted the shit out of it. People were lost, places were lost, empires fell and at the end of it all, in four years the world had completely changed and everyone was left as a band of nihilists looking at a smouldering heap of shit. But they had to rebuild it, and in the end it was just stronger and looked better and it was more cynical and pissed off and less gung-ho but also more prepared for anything. So, all the destruction was just the painful bloody cocoon for reshaping itself. Yeah, we've all got our own wars. But I've got me some allies and a ton of ammo, and i respect the anti-heroes. |
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| I've eaten swordfish. |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | The Ramones "I Always Think Of You When I Eat Vegetables" | ] | And it's pretty damn tasty.
In totally unrelated news, it was the school formal last night. I went, and I actually had fun.

Me and Gareth dressed up all nice (for us) and went straight to bar for our budweisers before we ate and danced and all that shit. David Oliver played a good show, except his girl singer kind of sucked, and I realized I actually knew him.
 ( Fucking glamour nazis. ) |
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| i need a roofie over my head... |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|09:17 pm] |
| [ | I'm feelin |
| | scared | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Moldy Peaches | ] | This is what I posted on roombuddies.com:
Moving to Liverpool in August. Student. No pervs. Don't care if you're gay or straight or whatever. Just have a decent flat and room for a roommate.
Wish me luck. |
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| what is it about you that occupies my brain? |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|09:10 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Kimya Dawson 'Roller coaster' | ] | I love you so fucking much.
I love you like crazy.
You're the match to my dynamite.
The macaroni to my cheese.
The Carl to my Pete.
Thank you for the story, and the songs. it made me laugh. It made me think. It made me want to share more of myself with you. You are amazinnnng.
Whether we're eating snowflakes or smashing beer bottles or hanging by the jukebox or heckling cops, I love being with you. xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoooxoxxxxxooxxxx
You were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday It seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane What is it about you that has commandeered my brain? Maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way When I look at your face I can tell that you're not going to be stopping soon or even slowing down And if we keep up this pace pretty soon we'll know the name of every kid And every grown up booking house shows in their town
And if home is really where the heart is Then we're the smartest kids I know Because wherever we are in this great big world We'll never be more than a few hours from home And that's important because I need to travel I've had this itchin in my shoes since I was just a little kid And before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound bus My mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being LEE SAIGON"
And now I do and it's not much But it's enough I've got my Scrabble game, food on my plate, good friends and family And now there's you understanding why I do the things I do Knowing that you do them too makes me really happy
On the road again Just can't wait to get on the road again The life I love is makin' music with my friends And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again Just can't wait to get on the road again The life I love is makin' music with my friends And I can't wait to get on the road again
From a distance, the world looks blue and green And the snow capped mountains white From a distance, the ocean meets the stream And the eagle takes to flight
(whispering) Darkness Imprisoning me All that I see Absolute horror I cannot live I cannot die Trapped in myself Body my holding cell
Do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do
I'll be your cryin' shoulder I'll be love's suicide I'll be do do do do do do I'll be the greatest man of your life
'Cause I like going for hikes and riding bikes And playing video games in the middle of the night And I'll stay up late and I wont even care That we're getting up early to go to the state fair I'm gonna ride the biggest ride it'll be out of sight Then I'll share an elephant ear with you if you'd like Because we are alive so we've gotta live life To the fullest you spin the bottle and I'll dim the lights Four five six seven minutes in the closet
You were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday It seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane What is it about you that has commandeered my brain? Maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way You go straight to the top you're not scared of getting squashed You know just when to jump off You're so brave And then you run to the right it seems there's no hope in sight And you drop down to the tube that takes you right to level eight
Life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it Every day's a winding road yeah My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs As long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable
Life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it Every day's a winding road yeah My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs As long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable |
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| Skinny-ma-rinky-inky-doo |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|12:38 pm] |

My new tattooo.
I met Kevie and Suzy in Derry yesterday, it's been too long. Poor Suzy had to travel home by herself. went to see Juno late last night with Garreth. Aside from that ... I do nuffink. |
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| freaks and geeks. |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|12:21 am] |
You should watch this show, if you don't. it's good for you. thank you xtina for reminding me.
and john moores gave me a conditional, FUCK YEAH |
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| someone's stealing my money! |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|01:45 pm] |
I just found out there's another forty quid missing. I didn't take it out, so who the hell did? aaaghhh.
Myabe this is a sign from Jesus that I need to quit working.
If M People ever fail in making me feel good about anything, I'll know the end is nigh.
I had to take a bath in oatmeal today, which means I missed out going to the Beaux Strat thing with Kate and Chris and all. Stupid allergies. Doctor blames fish. Which bites, since i only started eating fish and i LIKE it. Which i guess explains a lot. And my old cat's sick. She's going to the vet, which is something she hates. But I got an offer from Liverpool Hope. |
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| this is just in |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|02:22 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Don't Let Me Get Me | ] | damn annoying it is like yoda i shall talk sexy yoda is my babies he shall have an upside down inside out outer space lovemaking session it shall be.
I found these old pics of me in Cubby's army helmet:


And should i go to war, i could very well be the the idealist soldier who believes God will save us all and gets shot first. |
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