| Lee ( @ 2009-07-17 13:21:00 |
| Current music: | 'Papa Don't Preach' Kelly Osbourne |
Take a bow
SCENE 1 - LONDON
DAVID YATES: I know we say that every Harry Potter film is going to be "darker" and "more mature", but we really mean it this time! I promise!
(HOODED DEATH EATERS blow up the Millenium Bridge, pitching hundreds into the Thames. HARRY looks up from a provocative billboard on the Underground to flirt with a foxy WAITRESS who shakes her boobs in his face.)
YATES: See?
SCENE TWO - VILLAGE OF SOMETHING BABBLING
HARRY: So, Professor, why have you taken me to this bleak, colourless little village?
DUMBLEDORE: Hiring the new teacher. He's very important, so I hope you two get on well.
HARRY: Shouldn't get too attached, though, eh? Defence teachers only last a year, right?
DUMBLEDORE: (cough) Yes, well. I'd get used to the bleak colourlessness, though: that's here to stay.
YATES: What can I say? Hanging around Helena Bonham Carter brings out the Burton in me.
SLUGHORN: Dumbledore! Come in, come in! I've been on the lam for a year, carrying only photographs of teenagers I was fond of.
HARRY: ...
DUMBLEDORE: Relax, Harry, Horace isn't a paedophile. He just acts like one in more or less every way.
HARRY: Well, sir, it was you I was intending to keep my eye on. You've got notably camper since Rowling outed you.
DUMBLEDORE: (swatting him with a women's magazine) Oh, you bitchy thing you. Take my hand.
SCENE THREE - THE BURROW
DUMBLEDORE: Hi di ho, Weasleys! Don't mind if I foist this extra kid on you: his own family seems to have vanished off the face of the earth, he's been living in a train station all summer. Toodle-oo.
GINNY: Harry! I'm suddenly even more fond of you than Ron and Hermione are! I want to hug you awkwardly!
HARRY: I samesies! Let's sex up.
RON: Hermione, you've got toothpaste on your snaggle tooth.
HERMIONE: (swoons) I love when you talk dirty to me, Ron.
MRS WEASLEY: (bewildered) When did my cosy home turn from nurturing safehouse to red-light bordello? There'll be no more slumber parties here, I can tell you that much.
SCENE FOUR - FRED & GEORGE'S JOKE SHOP/SINGLES BAR
HALF OF HOGWARTS shows up to flirt at one another over love potions. Which is kind of creepy, if you think about it, since they're all thinking, "I'm gonna roofie *that* one."
FRED & GEORGE: We've stopped speaking in alternate sentences and now say everything together! Buy one get one free on plot points today, Harry, help yourself!
HARRY: (yawns) I'm bored of all this wonder and mayhem. Let's walk through a deserted bombed-out street instead.
RON: Oh, awesome, Ollivander's abandoned store! Let's see if his body's inside, we can poke at it with sticks!
HERMIONE: Better yet, let's follow the Malfoys down some random alleyway!
MALFOYS: When will villains everywhere learn that looking around shiftily before leaving will only make others MORE suspicious of what you're up to?
The BRAVE NOT-SO-LITTLE-NOW GANG tiptoe three feet behind the MALFOYS while Pink Panther music (or Mission: Impossible, if you like) plays. They follow them to Plot Points 'R' Us, climbing onto a roof the better to watch inside - only not really, because they still can't see what's going on.
RON: Dang. If only you had an Invisibility Cloak so we could sneak inside, Harry.
HERMIONE: Or if I knew a spell that would make them more audible. Oh, well.
SCENE FIVE - HOGWARTS EXPRESS
HARRY: (bolting upright, clicking his fingers) Egads! Draco's a Death Eater!
RON & HERMIONE: Chyeah, right.
HERRY: What, you don't support me on this?
RON & HERMIONE: Well. Your track record's not that great when it comes to hunches, Harry. Snape's out to kill me, Malfoy's the heir of Slytherin, etc - ring any bells?
HARRY: Screw you, I'm out of here. (leaves)
PANSY: Hiya Draco. Your sneer's gotten even more pronounced, that's hot. Had a good summer?
DRACO: Pah. Summer sucks, so does Hogwarts, so does Blaise, so do you.
PANSY: ... Somehow I don't find you as attractive as I once did.
DRACO: Anyhoo, I'd love to have a nice ambigous chat about serving the Dark Lord, but Harry Potter's eavesdropping upside down in the luggage rack. Scoot along now while I take care of him.
HARRY: Uh oh, spaghetti-o's.
DRACO: Owned, Potter, owned. (Stamps on HARRY's face.) Smell ya later. (leaves)
HARRY lies motionless while blood pours into his gaping mouth.
HARRY: Well, dith thuckth.
LUNA wanders in randomly, wearing a pair of oddly fetching x-ray specs.
LUNA: Wotcher, Harry.
HARRY: Luna? What are you doing here?
LUNA: Tonks got the day off. She had to confess her love to Lupin and get together with him. It all happens offscreen to allow for more screetime of you and Ginny gazing awkwardly at each other.
TONKS/REMUS SHIPPERS: *snarl*
DRACO: Touch my daddy's pimp cane, Filchy, and you're in for the sneering of a lifetime.
HARRY: Hey Luna, can you fix my nose without turning it into a kumquat or anything?
LUNA: Well, personally I think the broken nose gives you an Owen Wilson quality, but sure, whatever.
SCENE SIX - WELCOMING FEAST, THE GREAT HALL
RON: Mmmm, Jell-O.
HERMIONE: OMG how can you even think about eating when Harry could be dead because we haven't seen him for five minutes I HAIT U!
GINNY: Wow, calm down, freak.
HARRY: Hi everyone. Please excuse my lateness and bleeding face.
GINNY: Can I bathe your wounds, my dashing hero?
HARRY: You most certainly can.
DUMBLEDORE: Ahem. Just a few words. First of all, I'm glad to see that a lot of you survived the summer: give yourselves a pat on the back! Second, some of you may not survive the rest of the term, because once again, Hogwarts is wraught with danger danger danger. Try and distract yourselves by working your raging hormones overtime. Oh, and Professor Slughorn is our new Potions master.
HARRY: Say wha'?!
DUMBLEDORE: Our beloved Snape will be taking over Defence Against the Dark Arts.
STUDENTS: Holy crap on a cracker.
DUMBLEDORE: Don't worry, you won't have any lessons with him: not enough screentime. Off to bed!
SCENE SEVEN - HALLS OF HOGWARTS
McGONAGALL: Potter! Weasley! Quit perving on the underage students! Get to class!
RON: But Harry, I don't waaanna go to school today ...
HARRY: Tough. Dumbledore said I should spend a lot of time around Professor Slughorn and be very nice to him and we'll have a special relationship.
RON: ...
HARRY: Just don't, OK?
SLUGHORN: Harry, my boy! Go to the closet and get yourself a plot point. Today we're all competing to win the best potion of all: Deux Ex Machinus!
DRACO: *drools*
HARRY: Oh hell no. That potion is mine.
HARRY opens his special textbook and uses some special scribbled notes to make the super duper bestest potion of all.
SLUGHORN: Well done, Harry! Only one student I've ever taught has ever been as good as you! He grew up to be a Potions master or something. Anyway, here you go, and well earned!
HERMIONE: You son of a bitch. I made my hair go bushy for nothing.
RON: You know, Hermione, it actually kind of suits you.
SCENE EIGHT - DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE
DUMBLEDORE: Ah Harry, glad you could make it. Would you perchance be interested in watching a load of black-and-white scenes that show what a dickwad Voldemort was even from an early age?
HARRY: Honestly? No.
DUMBLEDORE: Well thank fuck for that, because we've cut it down to just two for the film.
SCENE NINE - KEEPER TRYOUTS
HARRY: As your Captain, I command you to tremble before the might of Ginny's mousy sass!
CORMAC: Nyeah nyeah Weasley, my broom's bigger than yours. That makes me more of a man. Hermione will fall swooning into my burly arms.
RON: *mimble wimble*
HERMIONE: *As if*! You are like, so Confunded.
HERMIONE mutters a spell that makes CORMAC pitch a spaz and lose his dreams of Keeper glory.
HARRY: That was some nice jinxing you did to my potential players, Hermione. But if it means my best friend makes the team, hell, I'll turn a blind eye. Congratulations, Ron!
RON: Thanks. I don't think I'll be losing this nauseated expression anytime soon though.
LAVENDER: Ron! Ron, I love you Ron! Squeee!
HERMIONE: Bitch, please.
SCENE TEN - THE THREE BROOMSTICKS
RON: Hermione, you've got schmutz on your face again.
HERMIONE: (swoons) The dirty talk!
HARRY: *sees Ginny, is awkward*
The TRIO start to head off home.
RON: How about that. A relaxing trip to Hogsmeade where absolutely nothing happened.
Up ahead of them, KATIE BELL pulls an Exorcist.
RON: Scratch that.
HARRY: Ooh! Ooh! Malfoy did it! It was Malfoy! I said it first!
McGONAGALL: (sigh) Get a life, Potter.
SCENE ELEVEN - PRE-QUIDDITCH BREAKFAST
RON: I'm doomed. Doooomed.
HERMIONE: Ron, please don't hurl into my cornflakes.
LAVENDER: You can hurl into my breakfast anytime you like, Ronniekins! Good luck today Itotallyloveyousqueeee.
HERMIONE: Ugh. She is totally wrong for him. Nobody that girly could possibly be likeable. Umbridge has made damn sure of that.
LUNA: Here, drink this Ron, Harry was so nice he went and spiked it for you.
RON: Cheers Harry, you're a pal. Let's go kick some Slytherin ass!
HARRY: 'Atta boy!
RON's belief that he is dosed gives him the confidence to help win the game! Go Gryffindor!
SCENE TWELVE - GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM
GRYFFINDORS: Ron! Ron! Ron!
RON: Me! Me! Me!
HARRY: Wait, there are still six other players on this team, right?
RON: Who cares? I'm getting laid, man.
(RON grabs LAVENDER and tongues her. HERMIONE bursts into tears.)
HARRY: Don't worry Hermione, you'll get together in the end. There are too many Ron/Hermione shippers to allow it to be any other way.
HARMONY SHIPPERS: We know, we know. But can you at least hold her hand so we can kid ourselves?
HERMIONE: (snuggling against HARRY) I know you feel the same way, Harry. I've seen how awkwardly you look at Ginny.
HARRY: (cradling HERMIONE) She is a vision of mousy perfection.
HARMONY SHIPPERS: We love and hate this scene all at once.
SCENE THIRTEEN - LIBRARY
HERMIONE: Honestly! *How* could that git not realize how I felt about him? I have been *nothing* but rude to him all term! Boys are clueless. I need a real man.
HARRY: Well, if you still need a date to Slughorn's party, I'm free.
HERMIONE: Oh ... I'm sorry, Harry. I never thought about you.
HARRY: Well ... I can get my own date then. Just because it's taken *you* six years to notice, Hermione, it doesn't mean no one *else* has spotted I'm a boy!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: Is this a subtle reference I see before me?
SCENE FOURTEEN - SLUGHORN'S PARTY
SLUGHORN: Welcome, children, and feel free to roam around my kasbah!
HARRY & LUNA: ...
SLUGHORN: Really not a paedophile. Honest.
HERMIONE: Psst Harry, help me get rid of Cormac. He keeps trying to grope me.
HARRY: I'm sorry, what? I was distracted by your astounding cleavage. What - ?
HERMIONE: Wonderbra Charm. Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6, page - oh shit, herecomesCormacbye.
HERMIONE vanishes. HARRY, in what has to be the funniest scene in the films thus far, feeds CORMAC dragon testicles. CORMAC proceeds to vomit over SNAPE's shoes.
SNAPE: A decade's detention, McLaggen. Potter, Dumbledore would like me to inform you that he will be travelling over Christmas and not to bother contacting him.
HARRY: But .. but ...
SNAPE: He also said that it's not you, it's him, and that he just needs some time by himself to think.
HARRY: But I'm not ready to take separate vacations just yet!
SNAPE: *blink*
FILCH: Arrr, I caught this little bastard trying to gatecrash the party!
SNAPE: How lovely. Draco, will you come outside with me a second?
SNAPE escorts DRACO outside and pins him against the wall.
SNAPE: You little noob! I swore to protect you! I made an Unbreakable Vow!
DRACO: ... When?
SNAPE: Sorry, Lee went to the bathroom at that part. Irregardless, this is a very special unnamed evil project and I can't let you noob it up!
HARRY: Bus-ted!
SCENE FIFTEEN - HOGWARTS EXPRESS
HARRY: I was right, I was right, I was soooo right.
RON: Leave me alone, Harry. I have enough problems as it is, what with two cute chicks fighting over me.
HARRY: You? Really? I mean, I know this is fantasy film and you're supposed to suspend your disbelief and everything, but still ... geez.
SCENE SIXTEEN - THE BURROW
HARRY and GINNY engage in the least passionate food-related foreplay ever.
RON: Cockblocked!
HARRY: Damnit. This is for the belief-suspending comment, isn't it?
RON: Yep.
HARRY: Whatever. Remus, Draco's doing something evil.
LUPIN: No he's not. You're just an idiot, Harry. A stupid, stupid idiot. Ugly, too.
HARRY: Er, what?
TONKS: (gingerly patting LUPIN's arm) I'm sorry. It's his time of the month.
LUPIN: Go fuck yourselves. Give me chocolate.
SCENE SEVENTEEN - OUTSIDE THE BURROW
BELLATRIX: I'M STILL KARAZEEEEE!
GREYBACK: We're here burning down your house for no reason! Mwahahaha!
HALF THE AUDIENCE: OMG not in the books YATES I HAIT U!
HARRY: I'm going to kill you Bellatrix! For real this time!
GINNY: Harry, no, wait for me!
MRS WEASLEY: Ginny, why are you chasing Harry into that burning wheatfield?!
GINNY: (calling back over her shoulder) To show that I have spunk like I did in the books!
SOMETHING makes a rustling sound.
GINNY: Ahh, I'm suddenly weak and ineffectual! Save me Harry, save me!
DEATH EATERS: Oh no, it's those teenagers again. We'd better leave, they kicked our butts last time, after all.
DEATH EATERS vanish. The Burrow burns to a crisp while CHARACTERS and AUDIENCE alike stare in shock and confusion.
SCENE EIGHTEEN - DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE
HARRY dips into the Pensieve and watches SLUGHORN fawn over YOUNG TOM RIDDLE, who in this respect is essentially Harry Potter: the Prequel. Only creepier.
SLUGHORN: I do love my secret underground club of young boys who come to see me after lights out.
HARRY: Seriously. The PTA should be all over this guy.
TOM: Sir, seeing as we have a special relationship and all, I was wondering if you knew anything about Horcruxes?
SLUGHORN: No, nothing. Nothing at all. Get lost.
DUMBLEDORE: Well, Harry? What do you think?
HARRY: I think if I see one more close-up of Tom Riddle's creepy face, I'm going to gouge my own eyes out of their sockets.
SCENE NINETEEN - BOYS' DORMITORIES
HARRY: Ron, you for once don't look as though you've just puked into your mouth. Is something wrong?
RON: I'm totally in love with Romilda Vane!
HARRY: You're what now?
RON climbs into bed with HARRY, proferring a heart-shaped box of chocolates. SLASHERS go into fits of ecstasy.
RON: Romilda is the most prettyfulest thing ever.
HARRY: What? ...Oh, bollocks. She's drugged you with a dastardly Comic Relief potion!
HARRY drags RON to SLUGHORN's office.
HARRY: Yo, Professor S! My friend here's bringing down the whole tone of the film. What do you recommend?
SLUGHORN: Booze, booze and more booze.
HARRY: Dude, you are the coolest professor ever.
RON drinks his mead and falls on the floor convulsing. HARRY, using his own brain for the first time in a while, which is nice, saves him.
RON: Bloody hell, even my would-be death is a source of amusement. I hate being the sidekick.
SCENE TWENTY - HOSPITAL WING
HERMIONE: OMGRonwhimpersniffle.
GINNY: Geez, just snog him already.
SLUGHORN: Dumbledore, sir, I think the poisoned mead was meant for you! Who would do such a ghastly thing?
HARRY: It couldn't be the same person who gave Katie the cursed necklace to give to you, could it?
DUMBLEDORE: Of course not, Harry. You and your wild theories.
LAVENDER: Squeee Wonniekins! *I* should be the one sobbing over his would-be corpse!
HERMIONE: Oh please, he obviously digs me, girl. Go watch the first five films.
RON: (mumbling in sleep) Oh that's nice, Hermione ... oh yes ... do that again, Hermione ...
LAVENDER: ...
GINNY: Dude, as far as breakups go, that was stone cold.
SCENE TWENTY-ONE - THE GREAT HALL
HARRY: Hey Katie. Do you remember who gave you that necklace?
KATIE: Sorry Harry, no idea. *coughMalfoycough*
DRACO: (in a darkened bathroom, sobbing against his own reflection) I am the new icon for emos everywhere!
HARRY: You're showing your descent to the dark side with a side fringe and eyeliner? What is this, Spider-Man 3?
DRACO: (sneering tearfully) What, am I taking slack from a guy who carries his textbook around everywhere?
HARRY: (fuming) It's a SPECIAL textbook!
He and DRACO deliver smackdown on one another. HARRY shouts out a spell from his special textbook, not knowing it could be dangerous, because it's not like it has "For Mortal Enemies, Ha Ha" written beside it. Oh wait, maybe it does. Too late. DRACO has collapsed in a pool of his own blood.
HARRY: Cool.
SNAPE: You prick. Be off with you.
HARRY: What, no punishment? I heart the wizarding justice system!
SCENE TWENTY-TWO - GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM
RON, HERMIONE & GINNY: We judge you. We judge you utterly.
HARRY: Never mind that, I have to hide this special textbook so that they can't pin this would-be murder on me.
RON: What about the half-dozen teachers who witnessed you standing over Draco's mutilated body?
HARRY: OK then, I have to hide it from ... myself, or something.
GINNY: I know just the place! Follow me!
GINNY takes HARRY to the Room of Requirement, where they stand around awkwardly some more. Then GINNY tells HARRY to close his eyes, and kisses him.
HARRY: Nice. A lot tamer than in the books, though.
GINNY: (shrugging) Well, so am I.
HARRY: Touché. A fine mousewife you shall make. Oh look, there's one of Draco's pet birds.
GINNY: Off you go, little birdy! No mysterious demise for you.
SCENE TWENTY-THREE - OUTSIDE THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT
RON: Harry, didn't you have some kind of memory to get from Slughorn?
HARRY: Yep. Ooh, I'm going to use my Deux Ex Machinus potion!
HARRY drinks the potion and goes looking for SLUGHORN. He finds him stealing plants from a greenhouse.
SLUGHORN: I deal in underground drug trafficking on the side. Not a word to Dumbledore, now!
HARRY: S'cool. I'm just grooving on down to Hagrid's, would you like to come with?
SLUGHORN: Would I!
They groove on down to HAGRID's, where he is burying a GIANT-ASS DEAD SPIDER.
ARACHNOPHOBES IN AUDIENCE: OH DEAR GOD. Why do fantasy films hate us??
ARACHNOPHOBES dive under seats.
HARRY: I'm sorry about your giant-ass dead spider, Hagrid.
HAGRID: (shrugs) Eh, no biggie.
HARRY: ... Really?
HAGRID and SLUGHORN proceed to get very, very drunk.
SLUGHORN: Your mother was quite a gal, Harry. One time she gave me a magical fish. It was symbolic, but I forget how.
HARRY: That's nice. Hey, you know what my mother loved? Untampered memories. (holds out vial) Eh? Eh?
SLUGHORN: Fine, here you go. But please don't hate me.
HARRY: Score!
ARACHNOPHOBES: (still under seats) Can we come out now?
SCENE TWENTY-FOUR - DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE
HARRY watches SLUGHORN's memory, take 2.
TOM: Sir, seeing as we have a special relationship and all, I was wondering if you knew anything about Horcruxes?
SLUGHORN: Why, certainly. All's you do is snuff a load of people, which enables you to preserve bits of your soul in pieces of old junk.
TOM: Woo-hoo! Righteous!
SLUGHORN: Yeeah. Um, this is all hypothetical, right?
TOM: Of course, sir. (creepy manical laughter)
Thunder claps outside. HARRY pulls his head out of the Pensieve.
HARRY: We've nailed it! OK, so two of the Horcruxes are the diary and the freaky ring - where could the others be?
DUMBLEDORE: Meh. Haven't the foggiest.
HARRY: You're bowling me over with your wisdom, here.
SCENE TWENTY-THREE - ASTRONOMY TOWER
SNAPE: I'm sick of being your bitch!
DUMBLEDORE: Tough shit, bitch. Clear off now, Harry's eavesdropping again.
SNAPE: (snarls) Yes, master.
HARRY: What's up?
DUMBLEDORE: I think I've located a plot point. Take my hand and click your heels together three times.
SCENE TWENTY-FIVE - A CAVE THAT LOOKS A HECK OF A LOT LIKE MORIA
DUMBLEDORE: The locket is at the bottom of this basin. To get it I have to drink this evil liquid. Now listen Harry, if anything bad happens I want you to save yourself, force this evil liquid down my throat and leave my ravaged body to whatever gruesome fate may befall it. Got that?
HARRY: I ... guess so.
DUMBLEDORE: Good boy. If we both survive the unspeakable horrors that dwell within this cave, I'll buy you a lollipop.
DUMBLEDORE drinks the evil liquid. Just as HARRY grabs the locket, GOLLUM AN INFERIUS leaps out of the lake and attacks them.
SISSIES IN AUDIENCE: WAAAAAUGH!!
REST OF AUDIENCE: We so saw it coming.
INFERI: Give us back the precious! They stoled it from us!!
DUMBLEDORE: I'm thinking now would be a good time to skedaddle.
SCENE TWENTY-SIX - ASTRONOMY TOWER
DUMBLEDORE: Go hide under the stairs, Harry. It was nice knowing you.
HARRY: Wha - ?
DRACO bursts in.
DRACO: Aha! Now I have you at my mercy at last!
DUMBLEDORE: You're all talk, kiddo. You're nowhere near angsty enough to kill me.
DRACO: (sobs) You know nothing of the depths of my angst! The Dark Lord is mean to me, Yates took away my friends and put me on the credits way below Timothy Spall, who was in the film for like an eighth of a second, for crying out loud!
BELLATRIX, GREYBACK and some other DEATH EATERS appear.
BELLATRIX: Yo, we came here expecting a battle. What gives?
GREYBACK: Ah, here comes Snape. My man, would you be so kind as to explain what's going on?
SNAPE: Sorry, no time. Avada Kedavra!
DUMBLEDORE's body is blasted into the air and plummets sixty feet to the ground.
HARRY: No. Way.
The DEATH EATERS scram. HARRY, after standing slack-jawed for a further ten minutes, remembers that he's the hero of the story, and decides to chase after them.
SCENE TWENTY-SEVEN - DOWNSTAIRS
The DEATH EATERS run amok through Hogwarts, kicking over tables, putting in windows and carving their initials on school property.
BELLATRIX: If we can't slaughter the inhabitants of the castle, we can at least make extra work for the janitor! Anybody got any flaming dog crap?
At long last, HARRY catches up with them.
HARRY: Snape! Man, I thought we was cool!
SNAPE: Think again, Potter. Oh, and I'm the Half-Blood Prince, by the way. (blows raspberry)
HARRY: Irony, thou art so cruel.
HARRY returns to the castle, where most of the school is gathered outside, weeping over DUMBLEDORE's broken body. In unison, they light their wands and hold them aloft.
SMARTARSES IN AUDIENCE: PLAY FREE BIRD!
REST OF AUDIENCE: Shut up!
SCENE TWENTY-EIGHT - ASTRONOMY TOWER
HARRY: The locket's a fake. I'm going to spend the next two films hunting down the real one. By myself.
HERMIONE: Don't be a twit, Harry. Without me and Ron you'll be screwed in five minutes flat, you know that.
HARRY: Ron, wouldn't you like to offer some words of support?
RON: Nah, it's better to sit here uselessly while you two make the decisions. Foreshadowing softens all blows.
FAWKES: Just here representin'. Weep y'all, weep.
HARRY, RON & HERMIONE: Bye bye, Hogwarts! We'll see you next time your inhabitants are in mortal danger!
OBLIGATORY CAMERA SWEEP OF HOGWARTS: *rolls*
HALF OF AUDIENCE: OMG not a direct reproduction of the books! I'm gonna go home and get my RANT ON!
LEE: Yeah, me too! (quietly) Awesome film Yates, awesome.
* * * * *
Well that took long enough. I dunno about you, but I think I sort of lost the thread of it towards the end. I may come back and re-work that later. For now, I hope I at least raised a little bit of a smile at some point. Night folks.